Wuv, Twue Wuv

Before I got married, I attended a handful of weddings. They were a little boring to me. I was even IN a wedding. (I was actually in two, but one was when I was 8, and for these purposes I don't count that one.) The one I was in as an adult wasn't as boring as the rest, but it definitely didn't make me cry or anything. I did shed a tear before the ceremony, but that's because in attempting to attach some ribbon or something to a wall I fell into the baptistry. It had nothing to do with the sweetness of the wedding.

Ever since I got married, I have cried at every wedding I've been to. Starting with my sister-in-law's wedding a month after mine. I really sobbed at that one. I think I just wasn't prepared for the different feelings that assaulted me. Then I went to two the next year, I went to my brother's, I was IN my sister's, and all the way to several weekends ago when I went to my friend's sister's wedding. Man, that's a lot of crying! I barely knew some of those people! What was wrong with me?

My husband said it's because now I understand fully what the wedding symbolizes. At my wedding, no one came to me privately and showed me their keys and quietly asked if I was sure of what I was doing. Had anyone asked this bride that important question, or was she walking down the aisle with a fake smile because she didn't want to make a scene and change her mind at the last second? On my honeymoon, I grilled, well, questioned my new husband for all the reasons he knew we were meant to be together. Will this bride need the same reassurance? Once we got our lives settled, and we had a baby on the way, and we got over the horrible hump of my stroke, every day it really did get better. Will this bride be as fortunate as I was? I was warned after I got engaged that in 5 years, or 10 years, my husband would no longer say "I love you". He would no longer kiss me when he got home from work. He would not open my door for me, or tell me that I'm beautiful. Really? Is that normal? He still does and says all of that, but we've only been married 7 years. He still has 3 years. ;-) Will this new bride's new husband stop all the sweet stuff in 5 years?

Are my tears those of joy, knowing that two people found each other and get to spend the rest of their lives with someone who treasures them? Or are they tears of fear, because I know that my marriage turned out awesome, but there is no guarantee that theirs will be as good? Maybe there's a little bit of both. Miracles happen every day. Who's to say this new couple that just said "I do" will still mean it in 10, 20, 50 years down the line. In my personal opinion, any two people who want to make it work can. So many people just don't want to make it work. There's enough heartache in this world as it is without people entering into marriage half blind and half committed.

There are so many reasons to get married. Love, security, shame. Regardless of the reason, if two people are going to actually take their vows seriously and make it work until death, that is an amazing thing to cry about. And if not, that is certainly something to cry about, also.

So normally after I write about something that I'm not sure of my motives, through the course of writing about it, my motives come to the surface and I'm able to figure out the why behind what I think or do. Not so much this time. I'm still not sure why I cry at weddings now, but let's just say I'm romantic and like to believe that this wedding will have a happily-ever-after ending, just like mine.