Church was wonderful. We had a mini singspiration and the message was about knowing the will of God. I love singspirations. I love singing a bunch of songs and hearing why different people like different songs. I just never raise my hand to ask for my favorite song. For one, I don't have this loud booming voice, so whenever I do speak in church, the person behind the pulpit can't hear me and my husband has to repeat what I said. Another reason is, well, I guess I just don't have a loud booming voice and it's kinda embarrassing to have somebody say, "What did you say? What did she say?" and look around for someone who actually heard me to repeat what I said. Most of the time it isn't a problem. I just have my husband say what I want to say in the first place, whether it be a testimony or a prayer request. But what would people think of this:
Husband raises hand and requests song.
Song leader: And why do you like [insert song title here]?
Husband: This is my wife's request. She likes it because ...
My husband says he would just tell everyone it's Biblical. Women should remain silent in church, so it is the right thing for me to not request a song; it is right for him to do it for me. So now what are people going to think:
Song leader, with a cheeky smile: Oh, this is your wife's request. Did she not want to ask?
Husband: No, the Bible says for women to remain silent in church; that's why I'm asking for her.
Wow, I didn't think this was the direction this post would take. I suppose I just don't like being judged for not doing what I think is wrong just as much as anyone else likes to be judged for doing what they think is okay. I guess I'm reminded of that family from the tribes of Israel. The patriarch made a law that fell under God's law of "no wine" and that said "no grapes, period". It wasn't wrong of them to make that law--it still abode by God's law. They just took it a step further. Wouldn't it be better for me to live a full, happy life following God's unpopular laws and get to Heaven and find out that I didn't have to, than to decide for myself that God doesn't seriously expect me, in this 21st century, to abide by all those outdated laws and get to Heaven and find out that actually, He did?
My brain hurts from thinking about this and trying to decide what I believe. This opinion is mine for now, and if I hear a good enough argument against it, I might just change my mind. Christ came to do away with the law meant just for Israel. He came to establish a new law for all men (and when I say "a new law", I don't mean a new set of rules you have to follow to get to Heaven--that IS legalism). I'm not saying we don't have to obey any OT law. A bunch were repeated in the NT. All of the 10 commandments except "Keep the Sabbath day holy", and women should dress modestly (in the OT it says not to wear that which pertaineth to a man; in the NT it goes even broader and just states "modest apparel" meaning not to wear any type of clothing that is too small in one direction or another) are two that come to the top of my head.
I thought after I started that the closing paragraph would read something like, I need to stop worrying that other people think I might be dumb or need to be pitied and I need to just do my thing. Which, I agree, I need to do. Somewhere in this post my brain took a left turn, though, and so now the closing paragraph will be just a little bit different than what I initially thought. Now, I need to stop worrying that other people are judging me for doing what I think is right. If they want to talk to me personally about it, I am all for that. Actually, if someone sees that I am doing something wrong, please talk to me about it (but please have a better reason than "I don't like it"). I am still working on for me if I should basically ignore it when other people do things I think are wrong (does everyone have that "not my business" sign in their mind they can flip on?) or if I should talk to them about it. I'm not saying gossip to others or quietly judge in my heart. (Although, obviously if I think someone is doing something wrong, in essence I am holding up a measure and noticing that they fall short.) I guess I am just so adverse to confrontation that I would rather ignore it. I just have to figure out if that's the best decision.
For now, though, I will do my thing, and I will let other people do their thing. And I will keep in the forefront of my mind that if someone is saved, it ultimately doesn't matter (for their soul) what they do. And if it bothers me, I have a very wise Friend who has all the answers. And I don't mean my husband. :-)