See, we're going to sing this awesome song in choir. The schedule says it won't be for a couple weeks, but if you've ever made a schedule involving more than one person, you know that invariably it's going to get changed after it's printed. The music schedule for my church involves over two dozen people, and that's not counting the choir. That is a lot of possibilities for schedule conflict! And sure enough, this awesome song got moved from a couple weeks from now to next week. Which, ordinarily, would be wonderful--the sooner to sing it the better! But next week I have other commitments and I won't be in choir. Meaning, you guessed it, I won't be able to sing this awesome song in church.
As soon as I realized this, I got angry. Mostly at myself, because I volunteered for this other commitment all on my own. No one coerced me into signing up for something I'd prefer not to do. No one even asked if I would be interested. I just walked up and said, hey, I would like to be involved here. Sign me up. And they did. For next week. Which, ordinarily, I wouldn't care. But we're singing this awesome song!
Before I got so worked up that I started throwing things, I decided to take a walk, get some air, drink some water, down some pills (not like that, but yes, I took two tylenol--my head was pounding and surprisingly it had nothing to do with my emotional state). Normally I don't walk out of choir practice, but my head was pounding and I figured if I'm not going to be here to sing it, I could afford to skip practice-singing it.
I made it back to choir just as the second verse was starting. The time away had done wonders. Kinda like counting to one hundred, but without all the math. I silently read the words as the ladies around me put voice to a beautiful thought (full song, no way could I make this song into a video and only do the second verse!):
I have to say, looking back, it is a little embarrassing that something so trivial got me so upset. What was my problem?! Well, in making this video, I have listened to/sung this song more times than I can count. My son was watching me for a while and he has all the words memorized. I think I'm good with singing this song! But even if I hadn't made this video or put the song on repeat, I was reminded that--surprise surprise--the world doesn't revolve around me and what I think should happen. Maybe there will be someone at church this Sunday who needs to hear this song, and they won't be here in a couple weeks. Whatever the case, I will joyfully serve in my other commitment, and I will pray that God uses this song (and those who are able to sing it) to bring one of His truths down to someone's heart.