Yes, I'm better. I can walk, talk, eat, and function on my own. If I fall, I can get up. If I am hungry, I can fix a meal and eat it. I can run, jump, and twirl with the best of them.
But on the other hand, no, I am not better. There are times (usually brought on by stress or nerves) that my leg and hand go numb. I literally can't feel them. I can't walk. I can't hold anything. Sometimes my mouth will go numb also, and it's hard to talk. I have to just sit down and let it pass. When it does pass, normally two or three minutes, my leg and hand will shake. It feels like what Parkinson's looks like. Uncontrollable little shakes, like my muscles are miscommunicating with each other and they don't know which ones should relax and which ones should contract.
And then there's the whole brain thing.
When this happens, I just say it's a "stroke moment." I'm a little young yet for "senior moment." And I've found that "stroke moment" really does cover a multitude of sins. :-)
So am I all better? Yes and no. I will always live with struggles, finding the right word in a pinch, having my nerves get the better of, well, my nerves. But all that serves to keep me humble. During college and the first year of my marriage, I really thought I was all that and a piece of pie. Well, maybe not the pie part. But I had come through high school alive and I thought it would be smooth sailing from then on. No more falling on my knees, begging God to help me. No more thinking I was inferior. By no means did I see myself as perfect, but I recognized I had come a long way, and therefore thought I didn't have far to go. Then, bam. Stroke. I can't walk. I can't talk. I have to relearn stuff. I learned the hard way that no matter how far I've come, I've really only gone a short way.
When I lose a word, or my right leg feels really heavy, I remember that I can't do it on my own. I also remember that since God put me in this position, I have to be content about it. And the only way I can be content about anything is through the strength of Christ. Easy preachin', hard livin', believe me, I know. Sometimes, though, I just need to be reminded.